when I accidentally burn myself and know how to take care of a burn but choose not to because i know you have a scar in the same place the burn is
(god i hope it scars)

I had a dream last night!! that school started and i got there and was walking around and homebase saw me and they waved and said hi super excitedly and i got confused so i js kinda walked past them but they caught up to me and they were talking to me like normal and we went through the whole day just chitchatting completely like normal and cuddling and hugging and holding hands and at lunch i went to A and Loly and told them and they were like “wtf?” and i said idk why but i like it so i don’t mind
everytime ive dreamed about him recently it’s just been him being nice to me and me being confused as to why
I don’t wanna miss him he’s happy now and I’m okay with him being gone I don’t even think about him during the day most of the time anymore but
i do. i do really really miss him. and idk what i did that was so wrong to deserve this but I’ll take it and I’ll deal with it but why. we had so much more left to do.

An old post of mine was titled “closer” it was about HomeBase and it was a long long rant saying i love them, that I eventually privated because Mr Boyfriend got upset about it
Something that some did today reminded me of something I said in it though so here’s a little excerpt from said post:

“ When they ask me what's wrong, I say "nothing" until they ask me again, or drop it. That's how I decide who cares and who doesn't. Someone who accepts "nothing" when it's obviously something, is only asking to be nice. Someone who decides "nothing" isn't good enough, actually wants to know.
These are unconventional ways obviously, and it's not healthy for me to base whether or not somebody cares about on whether or not they believe me, but it is useful. Using this method you'll discover that many less people care than you'd think. Your parents don't REALLY care, your partner(s) don't care, and most of your friends don't. And most surprisingly your BEST friend doesn't. I'm no abolitionist, obviously they care about you, they love you, and they want you to be okay. They just don't care enough to try and fix things for you. Which is okay. It is not their job to fix your problems, its yours. I'm not trying to say that anyone should push past the first "nothing", but rather its important to take note of those who do. “

switch x switch duos my beloved

Shoutout to that one dude for bringing me down from a breakdown and making me feel completely better about the situation so i dont cry again later
he even called me after for proof that i wasnt crying anymore and stayed on call with me for awhile(we’re still on call)
bros the only person that can comfort me that well and BRO KNOWS ME SO WELL like we’ll be talking snd he fan literally predict not just what i’ll say but how I’ll say it down to the hand motions i do
love that guy

“ Said he likes crazy girls, but he hates when I’m crazy !! “

sobbed last night just out of anger
how are people so selfish?
i literally was sobbing furious and un understanding because how the fuck does that one guy have EVERYTHING a person could want has the best possible shit a person could want and is actively running away from it. How is he that fucking delusional to think ANYTHING could be better. I want to slap him and tell him to wake up and realize how fucking lucky he is to have EVERYTHING THAT IVE EVER FUCKING WANTED. But I don’t want to because maybe just maybe if he gives it all up if he’s stupid enough to give it up maybe it’ll get to me maybe I’ll get it.
I at one point, when that thing happened, genuinely considered messaging him and being like “HEY. STOP BEING A FUCKING IDIOT.” but I didn’t.

How can someone take something so perfect and pure and wonderful and kind and convince it to love them unconditionally and unmistakably and to worship them and then think of it like its the devil it’s infuriating.
I fucking hate him for not understanding how perfect it is.