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so fun fact about me is I got one of my eyes surgically removed so like now I have this socket. Every morning I pour liquid eyeliner in the pit and like most of it comes out but the pit is still coated so I wear these glasses to cover it up.
I LOVE EYELINER
This is totally not a joke.
-Dead Man
0159
#206- headache
Dec. 8th, 2025 08:16"the other night I cried while thinking about having sex with you, not out of desire or shame but some subconscious desire to feel pain. I wiped my tears on my face and neck and now the back of my ears. And said, 'Now it's sweat, now it's sweat, it's sweat now'"
Yesterday I was at Ian's house and her 6'5 dad was looming over her, asking for something while she was directly telling him no. I js kinda watched from afar. I later said that I was really scared he was gonna hurt her, to which he pointed out my attention seeking behaviours. I don't really know how like a "normal healthy family" works. Ian didn't get scared when the parents got home, people were talking to each other but like voluntarily, people would eat so casually and not get made fun of. CRAZY
-Dead Man
0829
Yesterday I was at Ian's house and her 6'5 dad was looming over her, asking for something while she was directly telling him no. I js kinda watched from afar. I later said that I was really scared he was gonna hurt her, to which he pointed out my attention seeking behaviours. I don't really know how like a "normal healthy family" works. Ian didn't get scared when the parents got home, people were talking to each other but like voluntarily, people would eat so casually and not get made fun of. CRAZY
-Dead Man
0829
#205- T-minus 30 minutes
Dec. 7th, 2025 11:57I'm wearing my most comfy underwear, I've had about 1.5 energy drinks, my fingy hurts from my boots, and I got my wallet in my pocket. I'm ready to go to my Ian's house!!! I'm leaving in about 30 minutes. I'm meeting her mother for the first time and I'm about ready to shit my pants you have no idea. I am so fucking scared bro.
arf!
-Dead Man
1200
arf!
-Dead Man
1200
#204- [GUY NAME]
Dec. 6th, 2025 19:03so I told [GUY NAME] about my feelings towards him. I don't really understand them myself to be honest. He told someone that he gave up on loving me because I didn't like him the same, smth like that, idk. So I messaged him basically saying "I'm gay for you but never told you bc I didn't want to ruin things."
He rejected me. I didn't fucking ask him out. I don't not want to date him, but I didn't like- ask him to date or anything. He came up with reason after reason as to why not date instead of js rejecting me flat out. Worst part is he's been weird since then, I told him like a week ago and he's been barely talking to me since then. When we do talk it's weird. I miss him.
I wish I never said that faggot bullshit.
-Dead name
1913
He rejected me. I didn't fucking ask him out. I don't not want to date him, but I didn't like- ask him to date or anything. He came up with reason after reason as to why not date instead of js rejecting me flat out. Worst part is he's been weird since then, I told him like a week ago and he's been barely talking to me since then. When we do talk it's weird. I miss him.
I wish I never said that faggot bullshit.
-Dead name
1913
___ suggested a break up, my first thought was "what? no. Never. I wouldn't leave someone because of this." But then I thought on it for a bit and idk. I kinda hate her. I know I shouldn't. I know that's bad, but I just do. I don't know what to do, my current plan is to just... wait.
Whatever man my fucking tummy fucking hurts
-Dead Man
0916
Whatever man my fucking tummy fucking hurts
-Dead Man
0916
Her and I aren't really talking rn. I have nothing nice to say so I won't say anything at all, that's what my mom was supposed to teach me, yeah?
I'm like barely through my first drink of the day js cause I don't wannna, idk why
I had a school assignment and part of it was shopping at my favourite store so now I REALLY REALLY want new boots but I can't so sigh
-Dead Man
1733
I'm like barely through my first drink of the day js cause I don't wannna, idk why
I had a school assignment and part of it was shopping at my favourite store so now I REALLY REALLY want new boots but I can't so sigh
-Dead Man
1733
#201- arf!
Dec. 4th, 2025 09:45I got woken up last night and ugh I hate how long it always takes me to get back down. I'm so fucking eepy bro, the lack of caffiene prolly has smth to do with it.
I keep having these nightmares where people leave me and waking up is CRAZY
I wish I could like fuck an energy drink, yknow?
my mother is so fucking explosive bro
-Dead Man
0954
I keep having these nightmares where people leave me and waking up is CRAZY
I wish I could like fuck an energy drink, yknow?
my mother is so fucking explosive bro
-Dead Man
0954
#199- YUCK!
Dec. 1st, 2025 09:16I'm nauseous. People kissing babys is fucking gross. I saw a tt where a mother was kissing a baby and god I wanted to throw up. the comments were like "it's her baby, she can do what she wants" and "milk breath is the best!" LIKE WHAT THE FUCK??? lemme js get one thing straight- kissing babys isn't gross, seeing a babys face light up when someone kisses their forehead or paw or smth is SO CUTE. whats gross is kissing on the lips- thats fucking incest.
Ian's gonna get upset at this post but idgaf
-Dead Man
0920
Ian's gonna get upset at this post but idgaf
-Dead Man
0920
#198- growing up
Dec. 1st, 2025 06:03part of growing up and maybe just life and general is getting REALLY close to someone then they change. Either something big happens or its just someone changing over time. I hate it. I hate that people change, like obviously it can be good, but I hate that people all the time are always changing. I used to be friends with this guy even though he was shitty to me because I loved who he used to be
Ian posted and kinda mentioned that she misses who this guy used to be and it got me thinking
arf!
-Dead Man
0615
Ian posted and kinda mentioned that she misses who this guy used to be and it got me thinking
arf!
-Dead Man
0615
#197- Ian!
Nov. 28th, 2025 07:30I saw Ian the other day, she cried 4 or 5 times
she only gave my like three hickeys but one of them REALLY hurts, I got worried but Evan said thats normal?? Never happened to me but idrk
I didn't see her for awhile so it was weird at first, she tried to hug me and I braced for impact but after a bit I was all over her
I got SO MANY cuddles
Near the end, I looked around my living room and was like "ugh I own so much stuff, look at that, and that, and that, ugh I need to stop owning so much" but she's a maximalist so she thought the exact opposite.
I'm excited to set up for christmas and wrapping gifts and stuffs but I kinda fucking hate Christmas. Also, people keep asking what I want for christmas and I'm like "uhh... a hug?" cause I'm a minimalist.
I need to clean up. I'm such a slob.
I need to do more productive things over these next few days, I have no school or school work till monday so I need to clean, finally finish the book I've been working on for a pregnency, work on getting my license...idk smth
-Dead Man
0744
she only gave my like three hickeys but one of them REALLY hurts, I got worried but Evan said thats normal?? Never happened to me but idrk
I didn't see her for awhile so it was weird at first, she tried to hug me and I braced for impact but after a bit I was all over her
I got SO MANY cuddles
Near the end, I looked around my living room and was like "ugh I own so much stuff, look at that, and that, and that, ugh I need to stop owning so much" but she's a maximalist so she thought the exact opposite.
I'm excited to set up for christmas and wrapping gifts and stuffs but I kinda fucking hate Christmas. Also, people keep asking what I want for christmas and I'm like "uhh... a hug?" cause I'm a minimalist.
I need to clean up. I'm such a slob.
I need to do more productive things over these next few days, I have no school or school work till monday so I need to clean, finally finish the book I've been working on for a pregnency, work on getting my license...idk smth
-Dead Man
0744
#196- cry baby
Nov. 25th, 2025 20:24I just cried in his arms like a pathetic little bitch. That is what he called me though. Pathetic.
I hate that word. Have for years. I told a few people why, it's not a secret it js doesn't come up
I miss him. I miss him so fucking much. I saw him happy today, happy like he used to be with me. He wasn't happy because of me though. He was happy because of my fucking replacement
-DEAD Man
2028
I hate that word. Have for years. I told a few people why, it's not a secret it js doesn't come up
I miss him. I miss him so fucking much. I saw him happy today, happy like he used to be with me. He wasn't happy because of me though. He was happy because of my fucking replacement
-DEAD Man
2028
#195- concern
Nov. 24th, 2025 19:40so my dad was watching TV and some woman started crying
Me- doesn't that bother you?
My dad- women crying?
Me- ehhh, js people crying
My dad- um... no...
he looked at me like how my mom used to look at me when I could talk about...uh...
I need to get better at hiding this "less empathy" thing
that's what Ian calls it ig
she says I have empathy just not as much as I should
she gets worried when I would talk about watching gore or look blankly when she talks about a really sad thing
Like I guess it's kind of an issue
but more of a people look at me like I'm a monster issue and less of a I intentionally hurt people and don't care thing
I'm being extra asking for attention lately, and ik its annoying people. At least [GUY NAME] and Ian
-Dead Man
1948
Me- doesn't that bother you?
My dad- women crying?
Me- ehhh, js people crying
My dad- um... no...
he looked at me like how my mom used to look at me when I could talk about...uh...
I need to get better at hiding this "less empathy" thing
that's what Ian calls it ig
she says I have empathy just not as much as I should
she gets worried when I would talk about watching gore or look blankly when she talks about a really sad thing
Like I guess it's kind of an issue
but more of a people look at me like I'm a monster issue and less of a I intentionally hurt people and don't care thing
I'm being extra asking for attention lately, and ik its annoying people. At least [GUY NAME] and Ian
-Dead Man
1948
#193- no want family time
Nov. 22nd, 2025 15:45[GUY NAME] dad is homophobic for not ungrounding him over turkey break. I NEED a dick in my mouth.
I'm being forced to have family time with one of my worst family members, and my dad. My dad sucks but he's not as bad as my mother
-Dead Man
1548
I'm being forced to have family time with one of my worst family members, and my dad. My dad sucks but he's not as bad as my mother
-Dead Man
1548
#192- sobs
Nov. 21st, 2025 20:00I wonder how tall he is on his knees...
I'm really tired. I have bad grades, ruh roh raggy. My parents are pretty pissed about it. so I'm kinda avoiding them. I miss the people I care about but I don't wanna like... be seen by anyone
-Dead Man
2004
I'm really tired. I have bad grades, ruh roh raggy. My parents are pretty pissed about it. so I'm kinda avoiding them. I miss the people I care about but I don't wanna like... be seen by anyone
-Dead Man
2004
#191- advice
Nov. 20th, 2025 13:03Ight lads, here what you do: when one parent is being shitty, immediately go to the other one and explain before the shitty one gets to them. This way- your less crazy parent is finally on your side for once.
wonder how this will play out this time
-Dead Man
1304
wonder how this will play out this time
-Dead Man
1304
#189- kms kms kms
Nov. 18th, 2025 09:00I had a really bad nightmare. I was to scared to go back to sleep so I tried watching tv. Didn't feel any better. Had to go to my brothers room because I couldn't be alone. I was only there for a bit but it really helped. Lowkey forgot my phone and didn't realize till I got back to my apartment so I had to go all the way back. really hope that doesn't happen again
-Dead Man
0906
-Dead Man
0906
#188- anger
Nov. 16th, 2025 09:37I get angry a lot. Like A LOT. Ian said I'm not an angry man because I don't get violent. Usually I just get distant, quite till I chill out. I hate being angry. I hate it so much. My parents used to say that they felt like I want to be angry. No one does.
shrug
-Dead Man
0943
shrug
-Dead Man
0943
#187- ruff! (kms kms)
Nov. 15th, 2025 21:50Dead Man doesn't know how to talk to people. Especially online when he hasn't met them before. Dead Man was told to talk to this guy that Ian is friends with, he didn't really know what to say. He made a sex joke, not like- about the guy or nthn. Dead Man was told not to make sex jokes to him... nine months ago. He COMPLETELY forgot about that entire conversation before. So uh... people are upset. He didn't apologise to the guy bc he explicitly said that he never wants to talk to Dead Man again. When Ian was told he was not very nice to Dead Man about it. They didn't talk for a good ten hours. Then they called and started to talk about it but Dead Man wanted to crawl out of his skin and... js kinda... left.
"I'm gonna go"
"*sigh* can you not?"
Ian gets upset when Dead Man gets avoident like this
Never been good at talking to people. Autism and lack of socialization or smth. Sometimes Dead Man gets REALLY good at talking to people, its effortless and everyone likes him. Other times every conversation is an argument and he looses friends.
-Dead Man
"I'm gonna go"
"*sigh* can you not?"
Ian gets upset when Dead Man gets avoident like this
Never been good at talking to people. Autism and lack of socialization or smth. Sometimes Dead Man gets REALLY good at talking to people, its effortless and everyone likes him. Other times every conversation is an argument and he looses friends.
-Dead Man
