#69- jesus fuck

I forgot how bennys feel, jesus fuck. anyways, more energy drinks!!

Anyways, I lay in my bed all day, thinking about all of the more productive things I could be doing. then take a heavy sedative and fall asleep in his bed within 5 minutes. for 5 minutes I can pretend he’s still here, hes not gone. he’s holding me, playing with my hair and holding my face, telling me he loves me, telling me he’s here.
I’m hurting her. I’m in pain and it’s causing me to hurt her. I need to stop, I need to back away for a little.


-Dead Man
1408

#70- bros posting about Ian again

I was having a panic attack or smth earlier. My first one in months, probably years. I called Ian even though I knew he was busy. He didn't pick up so I texted him and he called me. I could barely hear him but his voice was so soothing, I know he made it like that on purpose but even his normal voice is soothing. I could listen to him for hours. I want to fall asleep in his arms as he talks about... literally fucking anything.
I hate relying on him, I hate relying on anyone but I love how he'll put down anything he's doing to deal with my sobbing ass. I'm so scared that one day I'll need him but he won't be there. He's not the only person I have but he certainly is one of the most reliable.
I love Ian

THAT WAS FUCKING GAY! I DON'T DO THAT HOMO SHIT BRO TRUST


-Dead Man
2050